Replace dinner with yoga

Nearly 12 hours of work today.  Not much time left for yoga.

But after finishing work at 7.30pm tonight, I chose yoga over dinner.

Intention: to do at least 5 poses, holding each for 10 long breaths.

It was an easy goal and I had no particular poses in mind, but figured they’d be forward bends….a quiet internally-focussed forward bend practice to ease tension out of my body and mind and create an envelope of peace.  Sounded attractive.

Very different to my Wednesday practice.

A journal of my journeying tonight:

Supta Virasana over a bolster (10 breaths)

Forward Virasana (10 breaths) – Around the third breath I felt impatience arise.  This pose is easy, move on, I heard.  I stayed for 10 breaths.  Humility blossomed.

Prasaritta Padottanasana with hands behind my back in reverse Namaste (10 breaths).  Magic inversion, chest cavity relaxed.

Parighasana – sprung from nowhere, or somewhere deep in the archives - 5 breaths each side with upper arm vertical, fascinating, then 5 breaths each side again in an attempt at the full pose.  Barely able to bend over without some rotation of the hips.  Side stretch very satisfying.

Maha Mudra – full pose, all 3 bandhas fully engaged at the end of the inhalation and held strongly until the end of the exhale. 10 long, slow, Ujjiya breaths.

Paschimottanasana (10 breaths)

Supta Baddha Konasana (10 breaths)

Bhujangasana (5 breaths) moving into Upward Dog (5 breaths)

Ustrasana (10 breaths) interesting to hold it this long

Hanumanasana – 5 breaths each side

Supta Padangusthasana (10 breaths)

Jatara (forgotten the full name) 10 breaths each side.  This was the spinal twist my body needed to do tonight - deeply directed acupressure from inner lumbar to outer cervical area, much more effective than a seated twist.

Shoulderstand (10 breaths)

Halasana (10 breaths)

Then the long slow-motion descent out of Halasana which took 14 breaths.

Seated cross legged twist (10 breaths each side)

Seated cross legged forward bend (10 breaths)

The intention of doing at least 5 poses was far exceeded.  It helps to start with an easy goal.  This is like the bottom rungs of a ladder. I can then step onto the mat without expectations and let the creative force lead the practice along.  

Instead of Savasana, I set up for a supported Setu Bandha with a bolster down the length of my spine, feet on a high cushion and shoulders on the floor.  

Fell immediately into a deep unconscious sleep. 

Woke up 15 minutes later with Buffy asleep on my shins.

Earlier on in tonight’s practice I couldn’t resist taking a photo of her – she was doing her restorative inversions too.

Finished practice at 9.15pm.  Missing dinner is not an issue - my digestive system gets a rest - I miss dinner quite regularly, more often through complete physical exhaustion (from labouring work) than choice.

Replacing dinner with yoga was a deliberate choice, an act of loving renunciation.  

No yoga today

Thursday 3 September 2015

Left home at 7.20am.

Arrived back home at 10.30pm

No yoga today.

Groundbreaking practice

Arrived home at 5pm tonight, put on the heater, had a quick shower, stepped onto the mat.

I had no idea how practice would evolve.

It tuned out to be groundbreaking.

For the first time in many years, I did the entire Ashtanga Vinyasa primary practice by the book, correct breathing, engaged bandhas, correct vinyasas, jump throughs, and every single posture done in correct sequence.

My mind was strangely equanimous, allowing me to flow through each pose in the sequence without my usual internal sabotage, or panic, or holding back, or blanking out, or wimping out.

Determination and sensitivity were perfectly balanced.

Marichyasana D, Supta Kurmasana, the Garbha Pindasana rolls and Chakrasana are poses I haven’t attempted for years. Tonight I did them all, though my lumbar and hips prevented full execution of Marichy D and Supta K. 
I go as far as I can and just hold, breathe, and relax into the blocked areas. Eventually they will give way. 

Bhujapidasana, Urdhva Mukha Paschimottanasana and full Matsyasana have also been avoided for quite a while.  Tonight I just did them, with no hesitation, as if my body clock had been turned back 10 years.

I am still stunned by this practice and the gentle flow of willpower that kept me steadily on track until the end.

Many energetic openings occurred during the practice.  I feel these as little pops and unblockings - along my spinal cord, up around my sinuses and under the bridge of my nose - all related to the cleansing of chakras and nadis.

I am happy to revel in the delight of tonight’s breakthrough practice, knowing that tomorrow it shall be different again. 

But I feel that something big is shifting... 

Pure and simple practice

No work meant a leisurely start to the day and a late morning yoga practice, though a lunchtime commitment put a cap on the time.  Although short, it was a pure, simple and deeply connected half hour of yoga.

Started with 5 Surya Namaskar A.  As usual, no stopping for 5 breaths in Dog pose.  I don’t seem to do this anymore, and instead use the first 5 sun salutes to warm up my body and develop a rhythmic flow.

Surya Namaskar B - a bit more physically challenging, the breath is drawn out longer and the movement in and out of warrior is demanding. 

I use the 5 breaths in Dog pose to recover the equanimity of breath.

Padangusthasana for 5 breaths.

Trikonasana for 10 breaths on each side, relishing this pose and the release of tension in my thoracic and cervical spine.

Parivritta Trikonasana for 10 breaths on each side. I keep my hands on the floor either side of my front foot for the first 5 breaths and look at my hips, adjusting them til they’re evenly aligned.  I use the sixth breath to move into the full pose, and remain focused on the alignment and stability of my hips.  Exaggerating the rotation of my shoulder girdle, I squeeze even more twist out of my thoracic and cervical spine.

Setu Bandha (bridge) warming up for the backbends.

Three Urdhva Dhanurasanas.  Bridge poses was my only preparation for the backbends today.  Normally I’d do more warm ups (salabhasana, ustrasana, laying over blocks etc…) before attempting the backbends…but confidence, and recent progress made me feel ok about attempting it cold.

Elbows stayed bent for the first one and shoulders felt blocked, even though I did went up with heels off the floor.  The second one was a revelation…full pose, elbows stretched out to the straight position and heels down.  I stayed 5 breaths and the feeling in my chest afterwards was extraordinary.  The pose had completely opened my chest cavity.  It felt like a warm breeze was sweeping through a cold cave, bringing with it sunlight and fresh air.   

I did another, and was overjoyed.

This is progress.

Supta Padangusthasana to counter the back bend.

Janu Sirsasana for 10 long, deep breaths on each side.

Shoulderstand, Halasana, Karna Pindasana.

Then the most exquisitely long, slow roll out from Halasana, holding my ankles, and with extended legs pressing down close to front body.  I felt every bone, joint and muscle down my spine get stimulated from the body weight on it.  A couple of times, I rolled back in reverse, just enough to re-roll over a spinal spot that needed extra acupressure.

This kind of rolling out, very slow and drawn out, is exceptional for aligning the spine.  You feel every vertebrae as you roll down onto each one, stimulating the nerves.  You can connect with the awareness of being on the centre of each bone, or correct the imbalance if you're slightly off centre.

It’s a treat.

Finished with Matsyasana (straight legs today) and a 5 minute Savasana.

A pure and simple practice.  No frills, nothing fancy, just quiet and deeply healing.

Tonight's ashtanga practice

I started practice at 6.15pm this evening…determined.

Dinner had to wait.

My bedroom and my whole house are cold.  It’s nearing the end of winter here...not long to go until warmth returns to ease the stiffness out of my body and mind.

I turned on the bar heater as soon as I got home, didn’t even change my clothes, it was too cold.  I was wearing yoga tights anyway.

Still, starting yoga practice with three layers on isn’t ideal.  

I’m looking forward to summer.

It was a surprising practice.  A milestone for me, simply because I didn’t think I’d last for a full practice.  My definition of a full practice these days is based on time, not poses - one and a half hours on the mat is a full practice.

I start my yoga practice with neither strong will nor determination tonight, destination unknown.

I purposefully counted the 5 breaths in each pose to keep my mind on my practice.  It is a scattered superficial mind these days that skips from one thing to another without an anchor.  Tonight, counting the breath was my anchor.  Breathing was fully charged, counting was quick, so poses weren’t held for long.  Moving helped to warm my body.

I did a full ashtanga vinyasa practice up to Marichyasana C AND this was with a vinyasa after each side of the seated poses, something I haven’t done for years.

After Marichyasana C, the mood changed.

I lay down, pausing for a minute or two to sense what was going on in my mind and my body, and how to proceed.

Backbends

Overriding the pause button, I did Setu Bandha twice while contemplating the potential agony of a full backbend.  Then I did 3 Urdhva Dhanurasanas – the first one was utterly painful and I couldn’t straighten my arms.  Four years of stress and trauma have blocked my shoulders and upper thoracic and although healing and opening will eventually come through the backbends, it is a painful process.

I am a beginner again.

After the first one, I convinced myself to do another.  Lifting my heels off the ground to get more stretch through my shoulders helped.  The third was successful, starting with heels off the ground and fully stretched arms, then slowly lowering my heels to the ground while retaining the entire stretch.

Gone are the limber days of dropbacks and tick-tocks of 10 years ago.

I am 55 years old and I am a beginner again.

This lifelong love affair with yoga is bittersweet.  It matures into a very real relationship.  We split up for a while, now we are back together.

After the 3 backbends I did the full finishing sequence of inversions.  20 breaths in Shoulderstand and Headstand and between 6 – 10 breaths in each of the intervening poses.

Notes:

Parivritta Parsvakonasana – able to get into and hold the full pose tonight without modifying it.

Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana – left hip still catching and inflamed, though I took some time to move into it very slowly, 5 full breaths while standing upright to allow the hip to adjust, then moved carefully to a third of the way down before internal alarm bells rang.