Walking the dogs early this morning, thoughts were allowed to roam as well.
Joy arises watching them (dogs and thoughts).
And while wandering the streets, the imaginary Sally (me) started an imaginary conversation with an imaginary nobody-in-particular.
The conversation led to the story of Mark’s death.
Now, thoughts rarely go to the story of Mark these days. It’s clearly seen as a chapter in the imaginary story of this character.
During the phantom conversation, the term ‘fatal attraction’ arose.
Memories of ‘love at first sight’.
Memories of ‘falling in love’.
Memories of merging into each other’s depths.
Memories of that night when he left the retreat – and the fallout from his death a few days later.
Memories of events that led to to his death and the following years of ‘trauma’ and break down.
'Fatal' is an interesting word.
It points to ‘fate’ or destiny – that which is inevitable in this lifetime.
Fatal also means an event leading to death.
In an instant, the meandering thought conversation was silenced by revelation.
Our meeting was no coincidence.
Falling into relationship was unavoidable.
Love at first sight was actually a recognition of destiny.
The relationship proved fatal for the physical entity called Mark.
Our short separation caused him so much suffering that it set off a chain of events, leading to his death. He died from alcohol poisoning, unintentionally.
The relationship was just as fatal for the psychological entity called Sally.
She also died, just slowly, over the following years.
Thank God.
'Love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the night'