Lily

Ooops, I mustn't forget Ebony's 7 year old daughter Lily (my grand daughter).
She's obsessed with dinosaurs and magic and flying.

Last family photo, I promise.

Ebony

And just to be fair, here's a recent photo of my daughter...

Nik

My son (and teacher).

Miscellaneous thoughts

Tuesday - it was so easy to get up at 5.15am this morning
(probably because I slept in yesterday morning...shhh)

AND I had another good, solid practice.

Surya Namaskars, all the standing poses, handstands, Pincha Mayurasana (deliciously internal shoulder surgery), the usual backbends: Salabhasana, Dhanurasana, Ustrasana and Urdhva Dhanurasana (more shoulder surgery), Supta something (alternate knees to chest), then the entire finishing sequence from Shoulderstand through to Baddha Padmasana.

The result...
My body feels gorgeous today, strong, clear, sensual and energetic.
My mental state is focused, positive and loving.
My emotions are balanced
My spirit refined and pure.

I’ve booked into another 10 day Vipassana retreat from 8 - 20 December. I’ve done one every year since the year 2000 except for last year – which makes 8 in total, so I’m definitely an ‘old student’, in fact I could qualify for ‘ancient student’ by now.
There’s a two year build up of messy, sticky thoughts to clean out, a thick layer of mental grime. Yuk.
It will take ten long days of meditation to slowly and painfully scrape the surfaces clean, and with some consistently focussed mental application, I might get down into some of the deeper stains as well.

Turning 50 a few months ago I remember posting about being completely lost.
I felt stuck - in my body, my practice, my relationship and my journey.
Ending a long term relationship was painful but necessary - it was long overdue but it has facilitated a new phase in my life.

Good yoga habit

HABITS – how to overcome bad ones, and how to replace them with good ones.
How to reprogram the mind.
That topic provoked some deep discussion with my son Nik last Sunday. He’d been listening to an audio book on personal transformation that had really impressed him and wanted to pass on some of the information to me.

His question to me: what positive habit would you like to create that would help you become the best person you can be?

My answer (without much thought): to get up at 5.15am Monday to Friday so I can do an early morning yoga practice before work..

His response: What stops you?

I do ask myself this question every time I hit the snooze button.
I have lots of excuses.

Nik decided I was a good test case for his experiment on how to create good habits (why couldn’t he do this experiment on himself I pondered).
The experiment…how to set up the conditions that will get me out of bed at 5.15am every weekday. He gave me a plan...and then made me commit.

For years I’ve been setting my alarm before bed, feeling really enthusiastic about getting up for early morning practice, but when that alarm goes off, its groundhog day. The alarm injects my brain with a massive dose of amnesia, fog, and denial. A brick wall.
No amount of inspiration, enthusiasm or good intention the night before has been able to make it through the thick fog that sends me blissfully back to sleep. No amount of guilt either.

Not until last week.

You see my son has great power over me.
What he says, I do.
Retraining the mind and shattering mental habits is hard dirty work. You need as much help as you can get.
He made me write my intention on paper, list why I wanted to do this, and how it will make me feel. He then made me sign a contract to get up at 5.15am, walk the dog, have a shower and then do a yoga practice, Monday to Friday, every morning.

I couldn’t let him down.

Monday practice was mediochre – 1 hour.

Tuesday was great, strong internal focus on mula bandha: Sun Salutes, standing poses to Parsvottanasana then backbends (including a surprisingly open Urdhva Dhanurasana), Shoulderstand, Halasana Matsyasana, Sirsasana, childs Pose, Padmasana twist, Baddha Padmasana, Savasana. After my shower I did a few handstands.

Wednesday and Thursday mornings were lethargic. I had no vitality, couldn’t even engage my muscles so I had no choice but to do restorative poses. Either my body was fighting off a virus, or it was premenstrual, or the early mornings had caught up with me. My body and mind were in shut down so practice was minimal…and slow. I stayed in childs pose for an eternity. At work, I wanted only to go home and go to sleep, but my energy actually picked up on both afternoons.

Friday I had a fantastic practice: sun salutes and standing poses up to Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana, then the full set of finishing poses, enjoying 5 minutes in Urdhva Padmasana. Not only that, it was the first of the five days when I stepped out of bed at 5.15am feeling bright eyed, focused and energetic.

Friday evening I did a second practice – sort of following the Iyengar week 26-30 sequence, picking out all the poses I could do and leaving out all the ones I couldn’t.
All Headstand and Shoulderstand variations, and I got into full Lotus in Headstand on one side
Jatara (but no Navasanas)
All the seated poses up to Gomukasana,
Padmasana and Parvatasana,
Then I sort of digressed and did Supta Virasana, Salabhasana, Dhanurasana, Bridge pose and a long 5 minute Dog Pose.
Nothing outstanding, just a good solid practice.
The next day I noticed a lovely tickle-itch deep down in my sacral lumbar spine. I’m sure this is from the Lotus in Headstand and Shoulderstand poses, it feels like energy being unlocked and a chakra coming alive, a tiny uncurling of serpent energy.

A few weeks have passed since I did the full Week 26-30 Iyengar sequence - it needs to be worked on regularly – twice a week would be the minimum, three times would be ideal, but more than that might be overdoing it for me. My daily routine is settling down and more time is gradually returning for yoga practice.
Early mornings 5 times a week
Evenings 2-3 times a week

New habits…Nik said they take 3 months to form roots.
I am determined.

Dog Fence

Back in June I visited Central Australia. One of the art students asked me to tie a piece of wool around the Dog Fence and take photos of it, which I did. It was part of a project she was working on and others had done the same for her when travelling up north.

Last week she asked me to write something about the act of putting the wool on the fence which may end up in a booklet supporting her work.

The long journey home after 5 days in the outback
My spirit still immersed in the vast arid landscape, my mind still expanded
The dog fence – I’d missed it on the way up, I must find it on the way back
I’d promised Liz
Artists like to make stuff, to externalize their inner world, to leave their mark through their work on the outer world
Liz had given me no context for tying the gaudy blue and red wool around the dog fence
I couldn’t invent or impose artistic meaning upon this act of graffiti
Leaving this mark came not from my own creative impulse
I was simply an instrument writing Liz’s personal message upon a fence
I travel light, finding meaning in the mystical, the nameless, the subtle, the invisible
Leaving as little trace as possible, preferring silence, translucence…
Weaving artificial strands of wool around the iconic dog fence I felt the heaviness of layering another mark upon this pure, ancient landscape
The act would reverberate in my conscience, like the dark residue left on my psyche from speaking unkind words
But I’d promised Liz
I wove the red and blue wool around the wire, leaving the long ends free, intuitively needing to set them free, to fly, externalizing my own hidden compulsions
Without the wind they would have hung limp, but instead they rippled and danced, flying wildly in the wind, tugging at their shackles for freedom
My job was done
The dog fence…to Liz a symbol of division, separation and alienation, had come alive with colour and movement
I hear the wool is still there
Speeding past, you may catch an enigmatic bright flash of streaming colour as the wind whips the fence
The meaning, like life itself, is open to interpretation…

Nature is a Lover

"Nature is entirely feminine. Whether you are a man or a woman, whether you are straight or gay, she does not mind. She will seduce you anyway. Nature is shy, and won’t reveal herself fully to you until she knows you come in sacredness; she has been raped by mankind for too long. If you respect her, if you visit her in the early morning when commerce is still asleep, or at night, or if you are willing to travel far into her interior, she will show you her secrets of sensual love.

You cannot have any connection with her through your mind. She never lives there; she cannot. She will sway and breathe and run from concepts. You cannot really know her very deeply through watching or listening to her. That is a kind of voyeurism that she will tolerate, but with disinterest. She might pose pretty for you, offer you a nice vista here and there, but she will be relieve when you drive away again in search of other entertainment.

She will meet you only in the physical. That is her métier. Give her your naked feet, and she will open to you and reveal her gifts. When you see a moist and shadowy mossy place, throw your civilized habits to the winds and lie down on the moss. Touch her with your naked skin. Dive into her cool pools; be warmed by her boulders in the sun. Rub yourself against her bark. Then dance in the secret places of her forest and become One with her.

Nature is a lover. She will bring you home to yourself if you are willing to be washed clean of all that is not her."

from Leap Before You Look by Arjuna Ardagh

Images:

Above: taken at Gandy's Gully where I regularly walk
Below: Lily and me at Telowie Gorge, Flinders Ranges