19 November 2010

Very tired today, I had no choice but to stay in bed, no guilt. I dragged my feet to work feeling the bones moving inside my joints, they needed oiling, but yoga was not possible. I was sill lethargic in the afternoon, looking out at the world through heavy eyes, my body didn’t want to expend any energy or move. A day in bed would have been nice.

Long ago I gave up trying to analyze the massive daily fluctuations in my energy levels, mood, flexibility, stamina, strength etc. I used to keep a journal and note down on a scale of 1 – 10 where I was at that day, thinking I’d crack the code and eventually work out what I needed to do to consistently rate a 10 out of 10 for everything – was it something simple, like cut out sugar, don’t eat after 6pm at night, more protein, less protein perhaps, or was it to do with my stress level on the previous day, some vitamin or mineral missing from my raw diet, the time of the month, the lunar cycle, biorhythms (what were they again?)…but after years of morning Ashtanga practice which served as a blank canvas for observing and recording the fluctuations, my final conclusion was there was no magic formula.

For sure I can be careful of my food intake, get enough sleep and just generally take good care of my health. If I don’t, my health and energy decline. It’s not rocket science.
And I know my energy is quite consistenly vibrant compared to the people around me.

But I’m no longer curious about why my body is flexible one day and feels like clay the next, why it’s lethargic in the morning and full of stamina in the early evening, or strong and vigorous one day then the muscles won’t grip the next day.
It doesn’t matter.
Its all just what it is.
Each day is unique, and each day I am reborn into this world with a new set of conditions and challenges.
There’s no final destination to get to where my body will perform smoothly and consistently like liquid gold and where life has no bumps and surprises – the fairy tale ending is what we are living right now in this moment - millions of fairy tale endings and beginnings, floating one on top of another, all woven into our beautiful daily life.

As the day progressed, my energy picked up.
I got home from work and felt the hole left in the day by no morning yoga practice.
My heart missed it.
So I had a quick shower, washed off the work day, then found my way to the yoga mat.
I did the full Iyengar week 26 – 30 sequence.

Headstand and variations – 9 minutes in total
Shoulderstand and variations – 18 minutes in total
I’m loving what Urdhva Padmasana in Shoulderstand does to the base of my spine, structurally and energetically.
I took full advantage of every twist tonight, from the complete body twist of Parsva Sirsasana, to the little neck twist in Jatara Parvatasana, and the fully spiraling spinal motions of Ardha Matsyendrasana and Marichyasana 3.
Cellular tension was squeezed out at every opportunity.
I limited the seated poses to 5 breaths on each side so I wouldn’t burn out before the end of the sequence. It was the right approach for tonight – it kept me focused and moving. I didn’t stop to rest between poses so finished the sequence in 75 minutes. My body was malleable, my mind engaged and there was a lovely feeling of fully inhabiting every inch of my body.
Intense and satisfying.
I haven’t been doing this practice as religiously or as regularly as I’d like, but I’m becoming quite fond of the sequence of poses, (except for Garudasana at the end which I do under sufferance). After 3 or 4 more evening practices (perhaps in a couple of weeks), I think I’ll be ready to move on to the next sequence in Mr Iyengar’s massive course and a new set of challenges.
Savasana with Buffy on top.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

oh how i love you, finding your self, being your self, even for one day opening the curtain, the fairy tale, to reveal the truth.

thank you for sharing this experience and insight. the adventure. of course we are just this, just this, just this. and forget forget forget.

what is it we thought we were supposed to be? even that changes with the shifting light.

singing with the thought of you slipping into spring/summer while i am slipping into fall/winter... from darkness to light, from lightness to dark...

Asato ma sada gamaya
Tamaso ma jyotir gamaya
Mrityor ma amritam gamaya

(lead us from the unreal to the real, lead us from the darkness to the light, lead us from death to immortality)