Tuesday evening, a delicate moment has arisen, I am seated in full Padmasana, halfway through the Light On Yoga week 26-30 sequence, arms extended upwards in Parvatasana - the love knot between my fingers unties and my hands, like dancing lovers, separate away from each other to float downwards in a moon like orbit around my aura, my palms looking up, slightly curled gliding backwards towards earth, holding safe the treasures of the universe in their soft pillows during descent. About halfway down my elbows naturally bend to land gently into my side waist, forearms anchor outwards, shoulder falling softly to wrist, wrist to curved fingertip is now hovering in space, just wide of my knee, and there I sit, perfectly placed in a delicate moment of stillness, safely centred in the deep eye of my lotus, fullness and emptiness sparkling in my palms.
Waiting, but not waiting
Receptive, but not passive
Still, but vibrantly alive
Silently poised inside two eternal, everlasting moments.
9 February 2011
7 February 2011
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
WEDNESDAY
Casting all cares to the wind, I went to a yoga class tonight. It may well have been my first class in nearly 2 years (apart from Glenn's intensive a few weeks ago).
This was a late class, 7.30-9.00pm at the Iyengar studio where Glenn's workshop was held.
I've been coming to this studio on and off for 14 years. It is my yoga home.
Darrin was my first real teacher back then and I remember falling in love with him in that very first class 14 years ago. Darrin owns and runs the studio now and he teaches the late Wednesday evening level 3 class.
As is traditional at this studio, each week has a focus - in one week all the teachers will focus on standing poses, the next week the classes will all focus on backbends, another week inversions etc. From memory, I think they cycle through maybe 5 or 6 themes.
This week must have been pranayama week.
The class was built around restorative poses, most of them either over or through a chair, some with a bolster. The pranayama focus was lightly sprinkled throughout the restorative poses - a slight intention in some of them to 1) gently contract muscles in the abdomen, perineum and anal canal following an inhalation, then 2) exhale fully while holding the light bandha and then 3) consciously inhale into the chest before releasing the contraction. After this, a few normal breaths.
Salamba Sarvangasana through a chair had a stimulating healing effect on my lumbar. The body is not vertical in this pose but resting at an angle, so gravity flows through the joints with a different effect than in the fully vertical pose. Gravity is a strong force, and when the body is inverted, all the liquids in the body have the downward pressure on their flow reversed.
I love this feeling. Blood flows back to the heart easily, pressure on the pelvic and abdominal organs is released, the brain is gently flooded with new life, spinal joints are elongated and stretched, cellular fluids are abruptly shaken out of their usual pathways... This unusual change of physical and physiological direction also affects our energy flow and resonates through to the mind, turning our world literally upside down, suspending us in space and interrupting our routine habits.
The tension of clinging onto what is known and safe dissolves away.
Especially therapeutic for my body is the pressure of the chair seat up into my sacrum and out into my hip joints. The back of my pelvis is heavily grounded on the chair as its receiving all the weight of my inverted legs. Consequently my lumbar gets a deep tissue massage and acupressure relief from the humble, unassuming chair seat and my hip joints are splayed open and receptive to the passive stretch.
Just before Savasana we did some Viloma pranayama laying with a blanket underneath the shoulderblades.
Overall, the class felt like a long, luxurious and relaxing warm bath. To be honest, not much use to my yoga practice, except for the momentary effects of Salamba Sarvangasana.
But attending the class was worthwhile just to experience Darrin's soft, calm and caring voice stroking my soul through the poses, even more for the brief conversation we had after the class and a phone conversation later which has finally, after all these years, connected us on a new level.
And now that I've overcome my fear and resistance to doing a 'regular' yoga class (fear of causing further injury to my lumbar, and resistance to following another person's yoga sequence) I'm looking forward to doing a more challenging 'not pranayama' class next Wednesday.
THURSDAY
There were many moments at work in the office this week when I felt the warm breeze of the weekend tent wash over my skin.
The freedom and space of camping by the dunes close to the ocean, has coalesced to form a vividly alive memory to draw on. My images of last weekend are visual and deeply sensual.
In an instant I can transport myself back in time to be in that tent, to rekindle the wildness of my soul's longing, to flood my aura with the warm air, the sea breeze, to dissolve my elevated spirit into nature and inhale its mysteries. I can be here in the city, in my home, in the office, on the street, and at the same time be out there in my wild earthy freedom. I can invoke a past experience into the present reality, experiencing two dimensions simultaneously.
This passionate need to go off camping alone regularly, to go wandering (through hollow lands and hilly lands?) is one I will listen to. Once a month is looking realistic. Upon that delicacy, I hook my soul.
FRIDAY
Today is Friday. I wake up crying and can't go in to work. Its 12 o'clock and emotion is still raw, tears of loss and sadness continue to flow. This doesn't happen often - I suspect the busy work week has left my bleeding heart unattended - it needs periods of quiet time to find gentle rest in its sadness, for emotion to seep out and then be reabsorbed. Last night, my son who has a permanently raw heart from the tragic death of three friends, cut deep into my wounds with his simple honesty. My heart has been bleeding this morning.
The intensity and depth that characterises my life now is how I want to always be in this world, no matter how raw or vulnerable or ecstatic I feel. Love and death split us open. We bleed, but that blood is what connects us to the powerful life forces of nature and the universe and the Source of it all.
Casting all cares to the wind, I went to a yoga class tonight. It may well have been my first class in nearly 2 years (apart from Glenn's intensive a few weeks ago).
This was a late class, 7.30-9.00pm at the Iyengar studio where Glenn's workshop was held.
I've been coming to this studio on and off for 14 years. It is my yoga home.
Darrin was my first real teacher back then and I remember falling in love with him in that very first class 14 years ago. Darrin owns and runs the studio now and he teaches the late Wednesday evening level 3 class.
As is traditional at this studio, each week has a focus - in one week all the teachers will focus on standing poses, the next week the classes will all focus on backbends, another week inversions etc. From memory, I think they cycle through maybe 5 or 6 themes.
This week must have been pranayama week.
The class was built around restorative poses, most of them either over or through a chair, some with a bolster. The pranayama focus was lightly sprinkled throughout the restorative poses - a slight intention in some of them to 1) gently contract muscles in the abdomen, perineum and anal canal following an inhalation, then 2) exhale fully while holding the light bandha and then 3) consciously inhale into the chest before releasing the contraction. After this, a few normal breaths.
Salamba Sarvangasana through a chair had a stimulating healing effect on my lumbar. The body is not vertical in this pose but resting at an angle, so gravity flows through the joints with a different effect than in the fully vertical pose. Gravity is a strong force, and when the body is inverted, all the liquids in the body have the downward pressure on their flow reversed.
I love this feeling. Blood flows back to the heart easily, pressure on the pelvic and abdominal organs is released, the brain is gently flooded with new life, spinal joints are elongated and stretched, cellular fluids are abruptly shaken out of their usual pathways... This unusual change of physical and physiological direction also affects our energy flow and resonates through to the mind, turning our world literally upside down, suspending us in space and interrupting our routine habits.
The tension of clinging onto what is known and safe dissolves away.
Especially therapeutic for my body is the pressure of the chair seat up into my sacrum and out into my hip joints. The back of my pelvis is heavily grounded on the chair as its receiving all the weight of my inverted legs. Consequently my lumbar gets a deep tissue massage and acupressure relief from the humble, unassuming chair seat and my hip joints are splayed open and receptive to the passive stretch.
Just before Savasana we did some Viloma pranayama laying with a blanket underneath the shoulderblades.
Overall, the class felt like a long, luxurious and relaxing warm bath. To be honest, not much use to my yoga practice, except for the momentary effects of Salamba Sarvangasana.
But attending the class was worthwhile just to experience Darrin's soft, calm and caring voice stroking my soul through the poses, even more for the brief conversation we had after the class and a phone conversation later which has finally, after all these years, connected us on a new level.
And now that I've overcome my fear and resistance to doing a 'regular' yoga class (fear of causing further injury to my lumbar, and resistance to following another person's yoga sequence) I'm looking forward to doing a more challenging 'not pranayama' class next Wednesday.
THURSDAY
There were many moments at work in the office this week when I felt the warm breeze of the weekend tent wash over my skin.
The freedom and space of camping by the dunes close to the ocean, has coalesced to form a vividly alive memory to draw on. My images of last weekend are visual and deeply sensual.
In an instant I can transport myself back in time to be in that tent, to rekindle the wildness of my soul's longing, to flood my aura with the warm air, the sea breeze, to dissolve my elevated spirit into nature and inhale its mysteries. I can be here in the city, in my home, in the office, on the street, and at the same time be out there in my wild earthy freedom. I can invoke a past experience into the present reality, experiencing two dimensions simultaneously.
This passionate need to go off camping alone regularly, to go wandering (through hollow lands and hilly lands?) is one I will listen to. Once a month is looking realistic. Upon that delicacy, I hook my soul.
FRIDAY
Today is Friday. I wake up crying and can't go in to work. Its 12 o'clock and emotion is still raw, tears of loss and sadness continue to flow. This doesn't happen often - I suspect the busy work week has left my bleeding heart unattended - it needs periods of quiet time to find gentle rest in its sadness, for emotion to seep out and then be reabsorbed. Last night, my son who has a permanently raw heart from the tragic death of three friends, cut deep into my wounds with his simple honesty. My heart has been bleeding this morning.
The intensity and depth that characterises my life now is how I want to always be in this world, no matter how raw or vulnerable or ecstatic I feel. Love and death split us open. We bleed, but that blood is what connects us to the powerful life forces of nature and the universe and the Source of it all.
1 February 2011
31 January 2011
Camping
I am in my bathers, in a tent, in a campground, suurounded by scrubby sand dunes, on the southern most tip of Yorke Peninsuala.Most people who camp here are surfers.
Walking along a track through the dunes I get to a deserted beach in the middle of Pondilowie Bay.
Looking south along the beach I can see the big Pondilowie campsite; about a kilometer north is one of the best surf breaks on the peninsula. I've found a camping spot in the middle and although there are a few others in the camp ground, no-one is on this beach.
I walk along the shoreline towards the Pondilowie surf break - its not quite so deserted here. I count 10 guys out on the waves. A group of sun-hatted girlfriends laze on the beach watching them.
It's 8.30am.
I surfed here once about 10 years ago - a brave 40 year old female amongst the guys. Paddling out I remember feeling that familiar heady mixture of extreme anxiety and adrenalin rush - I was scared to death of these waves, but paddled out anyway, plundering through my fear. They were the best waves I'd ever surfed.
Today there's not much swell, 4-5 foot clean waves, but a long long wait between sets. I sit on the beach and watch the surfers, relieved to have finally offloaded all remnants of youthful bravado. I no longer need to prove anything to anyone (including myself).
In my late teens I flew light aircraft, and got my pilot's licence in a Grumman Cheetah at aged 20. In my mid 30's I took up surfing. Youthful vitality and exuberance compelled me to extend myself in an effort to discover what I was capable of. In our younger years we take risks and push boundaries, expanding our sense of self out into the world to fill out our potential.
By middle age, our quota of those fiery youthful hormones are running low - they seep away as we settle comfortably into the characters we have moulded for ourselves. We take less risks, and find excuses to avoid the confrontion of new challenges that don't fit into the boundaries we have formed.
As our life stabilises and solidifies around familiar routines that support us, so our vital energy field loses its youthful spark as it too stabilises. This is the plateau of middle age, the bridge between youthful exuberance and the inevitable slide into old age.
I take comfort from the Hindu tradition of ashramas that separate a person's life into four distinct phases:
The student – spiritual learning under a guru
The householder – focus on family, career or job, community.
The retired person – time to contemplate the meaning of life and death
The ascetic – worldly ties are broken, devotion to God
As I enter my 50s, its not so much fear or a lack of vital energy that prevents me from doing new and exciting things, travelling to new places and taking on new challenges, but more that my priorities have shifted from exploring the outer world to exploring the inner world:
Yoga practice is where I explore the multi-layered landscape of Self; meditation is a fascinating journey into deeper levels of consciousness.
My outer life has become a response to my inner life, not vice versa.
So I am out here in a tent, under the trees and the stars, blissfully alone, and completely content.
It's a hot weekend, 40 degrees Centigrade today, probably more in this tent, and probably hotter tomorrow. I lay with maximum skin exposed, grateful for the light sea breeze moving through the tent and over my skin. The beach may be fresher - its an option if I start to suffocate in this sweat lodge.
Big four wheel drive vehicles grumble slowly past my tent, either stalking the area for a good place to camp, or heading off towards the surf.
Camping alone I am wild and free. I can be as dishevelled as I want, I can lay around and read or sleep all day or go wandering or swimming or just sit and meditate if I want. And the silence is bliss, it is the silence of not having to talk to anyone, the silence of not having to be anyone.
This tent is my cave; simple chores all require mindfulness and care - like warming food on a gas burner, washing dishes in a bucket, pulling on clothes while laying down.
Nothing is familiar.
I do everything carefully, with surgical precision. One mistake and the tent could catch on fire or the mattress will be soaked, or some other irrepairable catastrophe.
Camping is a wonderful exercise in awareness and presence.
Saturday morning I wake up as the sun rises.
The night breezes have died down and already the tent is warm.
Looking over at the photo of Mark I remember the love I felt for him and feel it instantly flood my heart again. His image triggers a flow of clear, pure loving energy in me but the love is not directed towards Mark, a person who is no longer alive. I recognise this love as a universal force, an energy that flows through us when our hearts are open, connecting us all as one within this Divine creation.
And as I remember Mark, his smile, his body, his arms squeezed tightly around me, it’s sweet nectar fills my body, mind and spirit, dissolving the boundaries between self and other.
I am living with this gift, this Love that he brought into my life.
Mark and I shared a simultaneous and mutual opening - it was the first time either of us had experienced this union betwen souls, this deeply human love with another person.
Was he a soul mate? Maybe, maybe not.
Was this a once-in-a-lifetime experience of a profoundly real love? I hope not.
Six weeks have passed since Mark's abrupt death - a cruel twist of fate for two people joined in an ecstatic human/divine union.
I have moved on from the shock.
With the passing of time, the journey continues. The flow of life is constantly moving and changing and each new day takes me further away from the time I spent with Mark and his tragic death.
I look back to see it in the near distance, a significant landmark imprinted deeply into my psyche, soon it will fade into the far, hazy distance of my memory.
I am not clinging to that place any more. I am neither holding on to the memory of his love nor mourning his death. The flow of life wouldn't let me stay.
I am here, in a tent near the beach, and outside is a kangaroo.
"I went out to the hazel wood
Because a fire was in my head..."
26 January 2011
Padmasana
Tuesday evening I walk home from work looking forward to the rare weekday evening with no commitments ahead of me. Tonight some time alone is critical to my mental and emotional health. Ebony (my daughter) asked me to visit her tonight...I said no for the very first time.
I am saying no to more people more often.
At 6.30pm I start my yoga practice, taking a leisurely 15 minutes to warm up - a long hang-like-a- rag-doll Uttanasana and some passive lunges ease the work day stress out of my body; Supta Padmasana prepares it for the early Lotus poses in Headstand and Shoulderstand.
Iyengar's Week 26 - 30 sequence is open by my mat. This sequence is becoming familiar and enjoyable, a reliable old friend that I can visit anytime.
My mood tonight is intense, focussed but steady; it carries over into the practice.
Sirsasana - 20 breaths in the pose then 5 breaths in each variation. I can't get into Padmasana on the first side tonight, but I know it will soon become accessible more regularly in Headstand. There's been a steady improvement in all the poses in this sequence, even though I've only done it on average about once a week for the past few months.
Padmasana in Sirsasana on the second side is ridiculously easy tonight. Noticing this new ease reminds me that with regular practice 'all is coming'.
From Urdhva Padmasana, I lower my folded legs into Pindasana increasing the grip on my core muscles (abdomen and pelvic floor) to support the weight bearing load on my lumbar. The muscles in this area feel like scar tissue, unstretchable plastic, dull, lifeless, unreachable.
All up, 10 minutes standing on my head.
Sarvangasana, 20 breaths in the pose then 5 breaths in each variation, all up 20 minutes in the Shoulderstand sequence.
I stay for 8 breaths in Urdhva Padmasana in Sarvangasana and also in Pindasana, much more willing to stay with the uncomfortable sensations in these poses - hard fibres stretching, the stimulation of root spinal nerves - willing to stay, observe, adjust.
That sums up my approach tonight - willing.
Willing to stay in the poses, willing to be fully involved in them.
Not afraid to face discomfort, in fact welcoming it as a juicy challenge.
Tonight I even make an honest, whole hearted attempt to work at Lolasana for 5 breaths on each side, a pose I usually approach with disdain or contempt!
A series of Padmasana (legs in Lotus) poses follows on from the forward bend sequence and Lolasana.
It starts with a simple seated Padmasana, then progresses to
Parvatasana (sit in Lotus with hands interlocked and arms raised straight up to vertical),
Tolasana (sit in Lotus, hands pressed to the floor then lift the Lotus legs off the ground)
Matsyasana (sit in Lotus, then lay back to the floor, arching the spine into a backbend with the sitting bones and top of the head pressed into the floor).
I do all of these poses on one side, then change the cross of my Lotus legs and do them all on the other side.
Often I will skimp on the first seated Padmasana, staying only a couple of breaths, too eager to move on. Why do a simple seated Padmasana when the next three poses all have Padmasana bases?
Tonight I fold my legs into the first seated Padmasana, place my hands palms up on my knees, thumb and middle finger forming a mudra.
Sitting quietly, chin in to throat, engaging both Jalandhara Bandha and Mula Bandha, I find myself fully content to be in this magnificent pose. I sit in Padmasana, Ujjayi breath rising and falling like waves on the shore. I sit like the God of Thunder summoning the forces of the universe, as if they are at my fingertips, waiting to be of service. Tonight I begin to discover the untapped mystical power of Padmasana.
Now fully conscious of my previous tendency to dismiss this traditional pose in favour of the successive Lotus poses, I shall not pass it over again.
The traditional secret texts mention that the practitioner who can perform Shirshasana (the head-stand) for 30 minutes and Padmasana for a similar period of time, correctly, may consider himself/herself an advanced practitioner of the Hatha-Yogic system.
Having kept both hands together in the lap, performing the Padmasana firmly, keeping the chin fixed to the chest and contemplating on Him in the mind, by drawing the apana-vayu up (performing Mula Bandha) and pushing down the air after inhaling it, joining thus the prana and apana in the navel, one gets the highest intelligence by awakening the sakti (kundalini) thus.
(N.B-- When Apana Vayu is drawn gently up and after filling the lungs with the air from outside, the prana is forced down by and by so as to join both of them in the navel, they both enter then the Kundalini and, reaching the Brahma randra (the great hole), they make the mind calm.
Then the mind can contemplate on the nature of the atmana and can enjoy the highest bliss.)
The Yogi who, sitting with Padmasana, can control breathing, there is no doubt, is free from bondage."
This asana is indicated for the awakening and development of latent physic, psychic, mental and spiritual forces.
During the practice of this asana, the practitioner obtains easily a state of profound meditation, contemplation, worship or prayer.
Its persevering practice leads to the revelation of the Supreme Self, Atman, and it makes possible a beatific state of communion/fusion with the Divine (SAMADHI).
From Sivasakti.net
Again in Virasana (Hero Pose) I discover my tendency to do the pose simply as a preparation for the following poses rather than honouring it as a unique experience in itself.
The light of awareness is on.
Virasana is another simple seated pose, too often dismissed by advanced yoga practitioners in favour of more challenging poses.
But the gift is in the silent simplicity and the suspension of desire.
I sit, breathing a deeply resonant Ujjayi breath, quite content to stay in Virasana for hours. Remaining still and resolute, energy flows up and down my straight spine, flushing out psychological weaknesses, empowering my will.
Thoughts about the following poses, Supta Virasana and Paryankasana do not arise to disturb the equanimity of this pose. Virasana has enchanted me with her simplicity and beauty, her purity of purpose.
Tonight I stop...and take time to smell the roses, in every one of these yoga poses.
The practice finishes at 8.30pm.
I remember a recent comment from Samantha, asking me how I felt after a two pose practice when I only did Sirsasana and Trikonasana. The question pierced into me like an arrow because I hadn't taken notice.
We should be asking ourselves that question before and after every yoga practice.
In fact as yogis, mystics, seekers, spiritual practitioners, we should be asking this question continuously, in order to observe the impact on our body and mind of everyday events, conversations, other people's energy, our commitments, our thoughts, the words we speak, the foods and drinks we consume, the weather etc...etc... and our reactions and responses to those impacts.
How am I REALLY feeling right at this moment, and why?
And what is required in this very moment to be stable, balanced, loving and connected (or whatever else we are aspiring to)?
Don't be afraid to uncover the truth.
Tonight, both during Savasana and after, I remember to observe and note how I am feeling as a result of the practice, not only physically but also on the energetic, mental and emotional levels of being. How interesting it is searching for words to describe the subtle and varied shifts of consciousness brought about by yoga practice.
Some words filter through: words like simmering, slow burn, powerful but peaceful, plugged into the power source of all life, drinking from a deep well. I search but I don't have the vocabulary to describe it tonight...and while attempting to put it into words, I realise I am outside of it, observing it, and losing it. I want to hold onto this powerful conscious presence, and drench every cell in it so the essence is absorbed.
I rise from Savasana and walk to the kitchen, passing a photo of Mark on the way. His cheeky, mischievous smile lures me into his world. We connect. I smile back. Wherever he is right now, we are there together, beyond these physical constraints of space and time.
I am saying no to more people more often.
At 6.30pm I start my yoga practice, taking a leisurely 15 minutes to warm up - a long hang-like-a- rag-doll Uttanasana and some passive lunges ease the work day stress out of my body; Supta Padmasana prepares it for the early Lotus poses in Headstand and Shoulderstand.
Iyengar's Week 26 - 30 sequence is open by my mat. This sequence is becoming familiar and enjoyable, a reliable old friend that I can visit anytime.
My mood tonight is intense, focussed but steady; it carries over into the practice.
Sirsasana - 20 breaths in the pose then 5 breaths in each variation. I can't get into Padmasana on the first side tonight, but I know it will soon become accessible more regularly in Headstand. There's been a steady improvement in all the poses in this sequence, even though I've only done it on average about once a week for the past few months.
Padmasana in Sirsasana on the second side is ridiculously easy tonight. Noticing this new ease reminds me that with regular practice 'all is coming'.
From Urdhva Padmasana, I lower my folded legs into Pindasana increasing the grip on my core muscles (abdomen and pelvic floor) to support the weight bearing load on my lumbar. The muscles in this area feel like scar tissue, unstretchable plastic, dull, lifeless, unreachable.
All up, 10 minutes standing on my head.
Sarvangasana, 20 breaths in the pose then 5 breaths in each variation, all up 20 minutes in the Shoulderstand sequence.
I stay for 8 breaths in Urdhva Padmasana in Sarvangasana and also in Pindasana, much more willing to stay with the uncomfortable sensations in these poses - hard fibres stretching, the stimulation of root spinal nerves - willing to stay, observe, adjust.
That sums up my approach tonight - willing.
Willing to stay in the poses, willing to be fully involved in them.
Not afraid to face discomfort, in fact welcoming it as a juicy challenge.
Tonight I even make an honest, whole hearted attempt to work at Lolasana for 5 breaths on each side, a pose I usually approach with disdain or contempt!
A series of Padmasana (legs in Lotus) poses follows on from the forward bend sequence and Lolasana.
It starts with a simple seated Padmasana, then progresses to
Parvatasana (sit in Lotus with hands interlocked and arms raised straight up to vertical),
Tolasana (sit in Lotus, hands pressed to the floor then lift the Lotus legs off the ground)
Matsyasana (sit in Lotus, then lay back to the floor, arching the spine into a backbend with the sitting bones and top of the head pressed into the floor).
I do all of these poses on one side, then change the cross of my Lotus legs and do them all on the other side.
Often I will skimp on the first seated Padmasana, staying only a couple of breaths, too eager to move on. Why do a simple seated Padmasana when the next three poses all have Padmasana bases?
Tonight I fold my legs into the first seated Padmasana, place my hands palms up on my knees, thumb and middle finger forming a mudra.
Sitting quietly, chin in to throat, engaging both Jalandhara Bandha and Mula Bandha, I find myself fully content to be in this magnificent pose. I sit in Padmasana, Ujjayi breath rising and falling like waves on the shore. I sit like the God of Thunder summoning the forces of the universe, as if they are at my fingertips, waiting to be of service. Tonight I begin to discover the untapped mystical power of Padmasana.
Now fully conscious of my previous tendency to dismiss this traditional pose in favour of the successive Lotus poses, I shall not pass it over again.
The traditional secret texts mention that the practitioner who can perform Shirshasana (the head-stand) for 30 minutes and Padmasana for a similar period of time, correctly, may consider himself/herself an advanced practitioner of the Hatha-Yogic system.
Having kept both hands together in the lap, performing the Padmasana firmly, keeping the chin fixed to the chest and contemplating on Him in the mind, by drawing the apana-vayu up (performing Mula Bandha) and pushing down the air after inhaling it, joining thus the prana and apana in the navel, one gets the highest intelligence by awakening the sakti (kundalini) thus.
(N.B-- When Apana Vayu is drawn gently up and after filling the lungs with the air from outside, the prana is forced down by and by so as to join both of them in the navel, they both enter then the Kundalini and, reaching the Brahma randra (the great hole), they make the mind calm.
Then the mind can contemplate on the nature of the atmana and can enjoy the highest bliss.)
The Yogi who, sitting with Padmasana, can control breathing, there is no doubt, is free from bondage."
This asana is indicated for the awakening and development of latent physic, psychic, mental and spiritual forces.
During the practice of this asana, the practitioner obtains easily a state of profound meditation, contemplation, worship or prayer.
Its persevering practice leads to the revelation of the Supreme Self, Atman, and it makes possible a beatific state of communion/fusion with the Divine (SAMADHI).
From Sivasakti.net
Again in Virasana (Hero Pose) I discover my tendency to do the pose simply as a preparation for the following poses rather than honouring it as a unique experience in itself.
The light of awareness is on.
Virasana is another simple seated pose, too often dismissed by advanced yoga practitioners in favour of more challenging poses.
But the gift is in the silent simplicity and the suspension of desire.
I sit, breathing a deeply resonant Ujjayi breath, quite content to stay in Virasana for hours. Remaining still and resolute, energy flows up and down my straight spine, flushing out psychological weaknesses, empowering my will.
Thoughts about the following poses, Supta Virasana and Paryankasana do not arise to disturb the equanimity of this pose. Virasana has enchanted me with her simplicity and beauty, her purity of purpose.
Tonight I stop...and take time to smell the roses, in every one of these yoga poses.
The practice finishes at 8.30pm.
I remember a recent comment from Samantha, asking me how I felt after a two pose practice when I only did Sirsasana and Trikonasana. The question pierced into me like an arrow because I hadn't taken notice.
We should be asking ourselves that question before and after every yoga practice.
In fact as yogis, mystics, seekers, spiritual practitioners, we should be asking this question continuously, in order to observe the impact on our body and mind of everyday events, conversations, other people's energy, our commitments, our thoughts, the words we speak, the foods and drinks we consume, the weather etc...etc... and our reactions and responses to those impacts.
How am I REALLY feeling right at this moment, and why?
And what is required in this very moment to be stable, balanced, loving and connected (or whatever else we are aspiring to)?
Don't be afraid to uncover the truth.
Tonight, both during Savasana and after, I remember to observe and note how I am feeling as a result of the practice, not only physically but also on the energetic, mental and emotional levels of being. How interesting it is searching for words to describe the subtle and varied shifts of consciousness brought about by yoga practice.
Some words filter through: words like simmering, slow burn, powerful but peaceful, plugged into the power source of all life, drinking from a deep well. I search but I don't have the vocabulary to describe it tonight...and while attempting to put it into words, I realise I am outside of it, observing it, and losing it. I want to hold onto this powerful conscious presence, and drench every cell in it so the essence is absorbed.
I rise from Savasana and walk to the kitchen, passing a photo of Mark on the way. His cheeky, mischievous smile lures me into his world. We connect. I smile back. Wherever he is right now, we are there together, beyond these physical constraints of space and time.
21 January 2011
Padmasana in Sirsasana
So good to get home from work and have the rest of the night to myself.
I started practice at 7.15pm, wth Light on Yoga next to my mat, it's permanently stuck open at the Week 26 - 30 sequence.
I start with 20 breaths in Sirsasana (Headstand) then effortlessly move through the variations – Parvsva Sirsasana (twisted Headstand), Eka Pada Sirsasana (one leg straight up, the other lowering towards the floor), then Padmasana in Sirsasana (folding legs into Lotus while in Headstand) and Pindasana in Sirsasana (folding the lotus legs down and into the body).
Tonight for the first time I am able to do all the Lotus in Headstand variations on BOTH sides. Up til now the first side has been impossible, but my legs have folded easily into Lotus on the second side.
The first leg is the most difficult one to bend into place. Without the help of the hands to guide or pull it in, it doesn’t get very deep, but when the second leg bends in, the moving thighbone helps it to slide a little deeper into the groin. Once the second leg has bent in, I scissor the foot back and forth, sliding it closer to the groin with each scissor. Squeezing in the knees, the next challenge is to press the sacrum into the body and raise the knees upwards making the whole pose as straight as possible. Ideally the spine and pelvis should be in the same alignment as if you were laying flat on the floor with your legs in Lotus and the knees near the floor. That’s actually the best preparatory pose for Padmasana in Sirsasana.
In total I am upside down, balanced on my head for 12 minutes...my eyes are blurred with double vision as I come down.
Child's Pose - I could have stayed here for an hour, so sweet and soft it is in this coccoon.
Back up in the air - Sarvangasana (Shoulderstand) plus all the variations keeps me upside down for a further 17 minutes.
I get about halfway through the rest of the Week 26 – 30 sequence when I am abruptly interrupted by an impulse to quit yoga and play with my new toy, the AppleMac Pro.
Right then, I should have paused and asked myself where does this impulse to stop in the middle of a practice come from, but in the moment I forget to do that and instead just follow it blindly.
(Note to self: Must train the mind to pause and question these impulses. There is so much to uncover and discover.)
I compulsively get off the mat, suddenly excited by the thought of my new toy.
I set up the laptop near the mat and after some exploration into the hardware and software, I work out how to record a movie in PhotoBooth.
So excited at this new development, I proceed to film myself doing Padmasana in Sirsasana (without even cleaning up my room or putting on pretty yoga clothes or setting up any lighting). It was a spontaneous experiment.
So there it is, I made my very first film...and the whole episode made me laugh.
Now I know what the yoga bloggers are doing when they film their practice and post it on their blogs. Once again I’m reminded of those tourists descending upon Uluru with their cameras and mobile phones, obsessed with capturing the outer image of something sacred instead of entering into its mystery.
One benefit of filming one’s own yoga practice (especially for those who practice at home and who don't have a teacher) is the opportunity to objectively view their bodies in motion and detect any anatomical and structural imbalances and habits, not just in the pose itself but in the entering and exiting of the pose.
Watching the film playing back I am teacher observing student.
I can clearly see how lopsided my pelvis is in this film and even more so in the second one I took.
But how easy it would be to get obsessed with filming and analysing and therefore to lose the essence of what is sacred and unique to a yoga practice.
Nevertheless I shall post my first film below and suffer the spiritual consequences of this little wave of yoga narcissism (which definitely feels yukky). There is no ego involved, just a little amusement and like a wave it shall pass over me.
Very amusing that the film sped up into double time when posted on the blog - it now resembles a 1920's Charlie Chaplin comedy!
One hour of authentic yoga practice, followed by one hour of playtime - experimenting with my new toy and then watching the replay of a stranger in yoga pants doing my practice (is that REALLY how my body moves, is that REALLY what my bottom looks like?)
All good fun, and a temporary reprieve from sadness and heartbreak.
I started practice at 7.15pm, wth Light on Yoga next to my mat, it's permanently stuck open at the Week 26 - 30 sequence.
I start with 20 breaths in Sirsasana (Headstand) then effortlessly move through the variations – Parvsva Sirsasana (twisted Headstand), Eka Pada Sirsasana (one leg straight up, the other lowering towards the floor), then Padmasana in Sirsasana (folding legs into Lotus while in Headstand) and Pindasana in Sirsasana (folding the lotus legs down and into the body).
Tonight for the first time I am able to do all the Lotus in Headstand variations on BOTH sides. Up til now the first side has been impossible, but my legs have folded easily into Lotus on the second side.
The first leg is the most difficult one to bend into place. Without the help of the hands to guide or pull it in, it doesn’t get very deep, but when the second leg bends in, the moving thighbone helps it to slide a little deeper into the groin. Once the second leg has bent in, I scissor the foot back and forth, sliding it closer to the groin with each scissor. Squeezing in the knees, the next challenge is to press the sacrum into the body and raise the knees upwards making the whole pose as straight as possible. Ideally the spine and pelvis should be in the same alignment as if you were laying flat on the floor with your legs in Lotus and the knees near the floor. That’s actually the best preparatory pose for Padmasana in Sirsasana.
In total I am upside down, balanced on my head for 12 minutes...my eyes are blurred with double vision as I come down.
Child's Pose - I could have stayed here for an hour, so sweet and soft it is in this coccoon.
Back up in the air - Sarvangasana (Shoulderstand) plus all the variations keeps me upside down for a further 17 minutes.
I get about halfway through the rest of the Week 26 – 30 sequence when I am abruptly interrupted by an impulse to quit yoga and play with my new toy, the AppleMac Pro.
Right then, I should have paused and asked myself where does this impulse to stop in the middle of a practice come from, but in the moment I forget to do that and instead just follow it blindly.
(Note to self: Must train the mind to pause and question these impulses. There is so much to uncover and discover.)
I compulsively get off the mat, suddenly excited by the thought of my new toy.
I set up the laptop near the mat and after some exploration into the hardware and software, I work out how to record a movie in PhotoBooth.
So excited at this new development, I proceed to film myself doing Padmasana in Sirsasana (without even cleaning up my room or putting on pretty yoga clothes or setting up any lighting). It was a spontaneous experiment.
So there it is, I made my very first film...and the whole episode made me laugh.
Now I know what the yoga bloggers are doing when they film their practice and post it on their blogs. Once again I’m reminded of those tourists descending upon Uluru with their cameras and mobile phones, obsessed with capturing the outer image of something sacred instead of entering into its mystery.
One benefit of filming one’s own yoga practice (especially for those who practice at home and who don't have a teacher) is the opportunity to objectively view their bodies in motion and detect any anatomical and structural imbalances and habits, not just in the pose itself but in the entering and exiting of the pose.
Watching the film playing back I am teacher observing student.
I can clearly see how lopsided my pelvis is in this film and even more so in the second one I took.
But how easy it would be to get obsessed with filming and analysing and therefore to lose the essence of what is sacred and unique to a yoga practice.
Nevertheless I shall post my first film below and suffer the spiritual consequences of this little wave of yoga narcissism (which definitely feels yukky). There is no ego involved, just a little amusement and like a wave it shall pass over me.
Very amusing that the film sped up into double time when posted on the blog - it now resembles a 1920's Charlie Chaplin comedy!
One hour of authentic yoga practice, followed by one hour of playtime - experimenting with my new toy and then watching the replay of a stranger in yoga pants doing my practice (is that REALLY how my body moves, is that REALLY what my bottom looks like?)
All good fun, and a temporary reprieve from sadness and heartbreak.
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