Wandering Angus

There’s not much to say about yoga practice in this post except that its been spasmodic over the last three weeks: a few short early morning practices (usually sun salutes, standing poses and some backbends) and I think I may have done two evening practices in that time – both of them half the week 26-30 Iyengar sequence.

So I shall digress from my comfortable routine of posting about yoga practice, and write a more personal entry because my life has been suddenly turned upside down.

For the past three weeks I’ve been sharing my very private home space with the person who sent me the poem.
He sent me the poem…the recognition of lifetimes spent together was instant…so he moved in.

It feels timeless and eternal, as if we've always known each other, as if we've been waiting.
He is there every day and every night now and the heady perfume of our romance fills every room.

I may be in love…I may be in shock.

How did this happen so quickly.

My carefully guarded solitude and my beloved yoga practice have been temporarily replaced with long evenings together in front of a computer, as I help him to catch up on a backlog of overdue art theory assignments - a sacrificial labour of love.
My simple green salad dinners have been replaced with gourmet vegetarian meals prepared for two.
His laundry hangs across my verandah.
Hauntingly sweet sounds from his guitar fill the quiet corners of my house late at night.
There is candle light, and smiles, and little notes left on the table signed with kisses.
I love you seems to flow from our lips like honey.
Sometimes I have to escape - I walk the dog alone to get some space and perspective on all of this.

When this intoxicating new situation settles down into a more grounded relationship, we’ll be able to re-establish our priorities and practices, and see clearly again, but for now the Divine is sweeping wildly through us both.

And that’s all I’m saying

Next post will hopefully be about yoga…


Holidays
Smack bang in middle of ending my previous relationship and falling headlong into this one, I took a few days off work, packed the car, gathered up my son, daughter and granddaughter and whisked them away for our very first bush holiday together. I’d dreamed and wished and prayed for years for this little getaway and finally, all of our personal circumstances made it possible.

I cannot possibly convey the significance of the three days I spent in the bush with them.

And the love I feel for them now...

The four of us climbed Mount Remarkable together, almost to the top. It rained on and off. We took turns piggy-backing Lily when she sulkily refused to take another step up the mountain - it was Lily who sabotaged our valiant efforts to reach the peak.
Turning around for the downhill trek, we were all hungry, damp and a little disappointed, but invigorated by the climb, the mountain air and breathtaking views over the plains.
Trapped in suburban life we don’t realize how these surroundings restrict our gaze - wherever we look we are confronted with structures, walls, boxes and the hard straight lines of buildings - the few natural forms of trees and bushes in the cities are strangled and confined to neat rows and small park areas.

Rolling hills, open plains, the expanse of the ocean…they allow our eyes to longingly reach out over soft distances and rest in panoramic spaciousness. As our gaze filters into distance, that distance returns to fill out and expand our minds.

He sent me a poem by email this morning...



Wandering Angus


I went out to the hazelwood
Because a fire was in my head
I cut and peeled a hazel wand
And hooked a berry to a thread

And when white moths were on the wing
And moth-like stars were flickering out
I dropped a berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout

When I had laid it on the floor
And went to blow the fire aflame
And something rustled on the floor
And something called me by my name
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossoms in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And vanished in the brightening air

Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands
I will find out where she has gone
And kiss her lips and take her hand

And walk through long green dappled grass
And pluck till time and times are done
The silver apples of the moon
And the golden apples of the sun

W.B. Yeats


Reading this, at 9am at work, my body began to shimmer into transparency, tears from my heart seeped out through my eyes...love is eternal, timeless.

My colleagues in the office were mystified.

A slow day at work

It is such a slow day at the Art Gallery today.
Hardly anyone around.
Apart from being a long weekend here, I’m told there’s a replay on the TV of some football final – Aussie rules is heavy duty entertainment.
How sad that people stay indoors and watch TV when it’s such a glorious day outside.

I woke up early enough to soak myself in all that morning glory during my regular Saturday morning escape up to the hills before work. I spotted four koalas up in the trees, conversed with a few boisterous black cockatoos, waded through a creek, jumped down the waterfall rocks and just generally allowed the bushland to suck the poisonous remains of the working week out of my system.

Back to nature.

Back to simplicity.

The image above is the view from halfway up the hill I climb. You can see the centre of the city of Adelaide and the sea in the distance. Adelaide is beautifully nestled between the hills and the sea. But before this city was built, the plains of the Kaurna people and the Mt Lofty hills of the Peramangk tribe were wild, natural bushland that had nourished and supported the Aborigines for over 50,000 years. In building the city we annihalated their land, their culture, their spirit.



The fully sensual lifestyle of the Aborigines, their deeply spiritual communication with the earth, and their unshakable belief in their Ancestral laws created an Aboriginal psychology that was disinterested in acquiring and possessing material things. Their lack of desire for anything outside their own simple tools continually baffled early explorers.

Westerners assume that agriculture, writing, clothing and architecture comprise the very definition of civilization and the unquestioned pinnacle of human progress. Yet all the evidence of environmental destruction, constant warfare, starvation, and moral and social decline is asking us to overturn our ingrained assumptions and view our so-called technical advances as representations of a cycle of degeneration.

The materialistic industrial societies are increasingly caught in a round-the-clock whirl in which people are trapped, day after day, in a breathless grind of facing deadlines, racing the clock between several jobs, and trying to raise children and rush through household chores at the same time. Agriculture and industrialism, in reality, have created a glut of material goods and a great poverty of time.

Most people have a way of life devoid of everything except maintaining and servicing their material existence 12 to 14 hours every day. In contrast, the Aborigines, who had no need for clothing, agriculture, or architecture, had at their disposal 12 to 14 hours a day for cultural pursuits, while their 2 to 3 hours of hunting and gathering provided a more balanced, varied and nutritious diet than agricultural societies have ever achieved.
"Voices of the First Day" by Robert Lawlor

After my morning escapade to the hills I opened the Art Gallery at 11am and by 1pm I’d sold 4 artworks worth just over $8,000 – two of them were abstract watercolours by dear old Arthur Phillips who is teaching a Masterclass in the studio next to me right now.

Since then it’s been a quiet day with not much work to do so I’ve caught up on a few yoga blogs.

To be honest, most of the blogs I’ve come across today are pretty lame (mine included).
Reading them hasn't inspired me to practice but it has inspired me to clean up my own blog list as many of my old favourite reads are either discontinued or they haven’t posted for over 6 months. Sorry to delete you old friends (if you want me to put your link back in, let me know.)
To make up for the deficit, I’ve updated the blog list with a few that I either regularly read or have just come across today. Just amusing myself...
For me, reading yoga blogs is similar to the entertainment that most other women get from watching reality TV shows, or reading magazines. I haven’t read a magazine for…hmmm…must be at least 5 years or so. Up til then I was teaching yoga and felt the need to occasionally read Yoga Journal – yuk, not any more. That's pure yoga junk food.

Another half hour to go at work then I can walk out of the confines of time and space: away from the four walls and my designated 5 hours work on Saturday...back into my own timeless, limitless space again...it's the mystical place where I am most at home...and it's just a step away from here...

Tuesday practice

The alarm was set for 5.45am - 15 minutes earlier than usual. So I surprised myself and the two warm animals snuggled into my body when I got out of bed. No extra snooze this morning.

Buffy wasn’t well and didn’t really want to go for a walk. We wandered across the street and she turned back for home. The usual 45 minute walk was reduced to 5 minutes which meant more time for yoga. I showered and was on the mat at 6.30am with a whole hour in front of me.

Standing on the leading edge of the practice, I breathe…I move through the Surya Namaskars and the first few standing poses, semi-mechanical. I am careful to be gentle, the ache in my hips and back lingers from last night’s practice. Prana enters my body but doesn’t infuse me with any energy or inspiration. I am dull, mind-heavy, depleted. The ache has robbed my body of all bandha and core connection today.
The best I can do is fill out half an hour with a few more incidental poses then get up, let it all go, and make my way into the day.

Still, it was 30 minutes of yoga so I guess it was a practice.

Monday practice

Monday evening, I finish work, walk home, take a quick shower and step onto the mat at 6.30pm, a little jaded, a little hungry. Better to practice on empty than with food in my stomach. Besides, dinner will be a nice reward after practice.

Sirsasana cycle, 6 minutes. Despite my small breakthrough last week, Padmasana in Sirsasana doesn’t come on either side tonight, so Pindasana in Sirsasana is left out again.

Sarvangasana cycle, 15 minutes, with extra time working on Pindasana in Sarvangasana.
I come down from the Shoulderstand sequence and reconnect with the ground for a moment then move into Jatara, wringing the tension out of my shoulderstand neck with a full twist of my head.

Continuing to follow the week 26 – 30 sequence, I am sensitive to my body’s limitations tonight: The shoulderstand sequence has bent my upper spine too far for too long. I need to backbend it out, but the next poses are forward bends: Janu, Ardha Baddha, Triang, Marichy A and Paschimottanasana.
Instead of looking down in these poses, I gaze to my feet. This helps to lift the front ribcage slightly up from the legs and away from the pelvis, actively lengthening the front of the spine. It gives a more active forward bend experience than the gaze down orientation which tends to internalise the mind under a cloak of darkness.
The lengthening also helps to prepare for the next pose, Urdhva Mukha Paschimottanasana. I lift up through my ribcage and balance holding the outer edges of my feet; I lift up higher, compact body to legs and teeter upon two miniature sitting bones that seem to be shrinking by the moment. My heart blossoms up to the sky.

Prolonged forward bending is now aggravating the nerve roots in my spine, causing my hips to ache. Gomukhasana provides some relief. I squeeze my thighs to stimulate the root chakra, it stirs and unravels upward. Lolasana, the next pose, flattens it. I struggle to lift off, arms are strong but that doesn’t help. Whatever is needed to get my feet off the floor, I just haven’t got it…yet.

Taking a breather, I re-read the instructions for Simhasana. How extraordinary that in all the 15 years of attending yoga classes I never encountered this pose. I don’t quite get the legs. Mr Iyengar’s foot points out from behind his buttock in the photo, but following his instructions for how to cross and sit on the legs, the pressure on my feet and ankles is unbearable – the position must be wrong. I settle for kneeling – perhaps I’ll get some benefit from the facial contortions…it’s supposed to cure bad breath. I think it also cures vanity.

Padmasana, Parvatasana and Tolasana – I slip into them one after the other on the first side. But nerve ache is spreading out of my hips and the accumulated effects of the practice now echo mournfully through my joints. I consider stopping after making it through all three poses on the second side, but instead I refold my legs into Padmasana and lean back for Matsyasana. In stoic defiance of aching hips I try to keep an internal focus on Broomadhya drishte (inward gaze to the third eye).
This is my last pose for tonight.
A very high pain threshold is useful in childbirth, but not in yoga.
I lay back on a bolster in Supta Virasana for 5 mintues attempting to reverse all previous hip positions, then finally I lay out for Savasana.

Three quarters of the sequence completed in one and a half hours.

Not completing an intended sequence does prompt me to re-examine my motivation for practicing.
Not completing a sequence is not failure. Failure does not exist in my vocabulary because things are just as they are - there is no good, no bad, no judgement…just a continual flow of changing conditions.
A little twinge of disappointment lingers, so I let it go, then reconnect with my physical and mental condition as it is right now.
ANY form of disappointment shows up our unrealistic expectations.

When I rise from Savasana my body reveals how intensely I worked. I feel fully satisfied.
Working with and around the pain has brought a sharpness and sensitivity to my mind.
I may have earned my dinner…but for now I can only hobble to the kitchen like an old lady.

Its times like this that I wonder why I persist with asana practice.
Then I remind myself that asana, the third of eight yoga limbs, is an integral part of a whole system of mental, emotional and spiritual development.
So what of the higher limbs…why don’t I spend more time on the cushion training my mind, or out in the community helping the helpless, instead of stretching and challenging my body on a yoga mat?
What lures me to spend so much of my precious spare time playing solitaire within the deeper confines of my body and mind?

Tonight I see yoga as an internalised form of self entertainment.

Yesterday I saw it as a system of purification leading to enlightenment.
Tomorrow I shall see it differently.
And none of this matters…I’m just playing around inside of my head, entertaining myself…

The Three Sisters

This blog page was way overdue for a renovation. The background I've used is an aboriginal dot painting called ‘The Three Sisters’ by Colleen Wallace Nungari. It depicts an aboriginal legend about the formation of the three large rocks in the Blue Mountains, close to the town of Katoomba:
According to the Aboriginal dreamtime story, the three huge rocks formation were once three beautiful sisters named "Meehni", "Wimlah" and "Gunnedoo" from the Katoomba tribe. The three sisters fell in love with three brothers from the Nepean tribe but their tribal laws forbade their marriage. The three brothers did not accept this law and tried to capture the three sisters by force. This caused a major tribal battle and the lives of the three sisters were thus threatened. A tribal shaman decided to turn the sisters into rocks in order to protect them and thought to reverse the spell only after the battle. Unfortunately, he was killed in the battle and the three sisters remained as the enormous and beautiful rock formations until today. The magnificent formation stands at 922m, 918m, and 906m respectively.

As a background this painting seems to sparkle with all the brilliance of the starry night sky in Central Australia.

Not much yoga in the past few days…well none actually. I spent the weekend climbing mountains and wandering along coastal cliffs.

2 days of practice notes

I’ve been reluctant to publish another post because my rather dull yoga practice notes would then displace that extraordinary image on my last post...I don’t want it to disappear…it incites my wild nature…the dance, the stance, the tilt of their heads and facial expressions, the emu feather head and ankle decorations, the ochre body paint, the red earth beneath their feet and rocky mound behind them so typical of Australian topography…this particular photo of a Corroboree dance was taken at the turn of the century… it’s one of my favourite images from “Voices of the First Day” by Robert Lawlor.
Many of the photos in this book are amongst the earliest ever made of the Aboriginal people. They were taken by anthropologist Baldwin Spencer during his travels to the remote regions of Central and Northern Australia. At this time much of the Aboriginal culture was intact. The photos therefore provide an authentic glimpse into the oldest known human society.





Alas…on to my rather tediously self-indulgent practice notes from Monday and Wednesday:

Monday 20 September
Two practices today…

Monday morning
Another short morning practice – 25 minutes - which by my definition is the bare minimum for it to rate as a practice. What it lacked in time, it made up with intensity.

Five Surya Namaskar As, flowing through Dog Pose without stopping for the 5 breaths; I was flying early – breath flowing strongly, body moving, breathing, stretching open with feeling, it was full of life, courage and strength. I skipped the Surya Bs to avoid breaking the flow – stepping forward to a lunge is a simple move that often aggravates my back – and maintaining the flow felt more important today.
Padangusthasana and Pada Hastasana both felt strong and soft as I pressed my shoulder blades in and lengthened down. In all these forward bends my focus spreads fully through my body, but a little extra attention goes to concaving the space in front of my lumbar. Anatomically I’m probably nutating the sacrum and opening the back of L4-5 and L5-S1 discs, but the focus is more on engaging the deep core muscles that support this area and directing prana from the base into the central energetic channels. I marvel at what goes on in these simple poses – in an instant I can swim down through multiple layers.

Trikonasana – I keep the back of my lower hand against my inner ankle and gently press back to encourage rotation. By not resting weight on the lower hand I have to engage my legs more and use core energy to support and lighten my torso.
Parivritta Trikonasana – the hip and spine alignment feel correct but from experience I know we can be far out when judging from a warped internal compass. I engage Mula Bandha and draw the prana up through the central channel in this pose and my body finds its natural alignment around an invisible energy line.
Utthita Parsvakonasana – always a dangerous descent through my unstable hip joints, especially on the first side. Some days I have to rest my elbow on my bent knee for support, but today was a good day. I notice the tinge of fear as I move down into the full pose…it’s a split second decision on the way down whether to bend my elbow to my knee or to reach for the ground. Again I marvel at the processes involved in this decision - the nerve impulses from my dodgy weak hip carry all the raw data to my brain about the condition and strength of my hip joints in that instant. Following a split second evaluation and decision based on stored memory data, I know whether my hip can support the weight of my bent torso today, and the potential for pain, collapse, or injury in the movement.
In a second I have moved into the full pose having weighed up all this data and the risks on the way down. My fingertips touch the floor, fear turns to relief and I set to work, breathing into the pose, correcting alignment and directing subtle energy into my weak hip joint to strengthen and heal the damaged tissues and nerves. With the hip joint stabilised and energised, I’m able to lift strongly out of the pose through my legs.
Parivritta Parsvakonasana – I’m still on the modified version of this pose, wedging my elbow outside of my bent knee with hands glued together in Namaste. On rare, flexible days I attempt the full pose but not today, because as I twist, my lumbar vertebrae grind against each other cutting my core power instantly. I re-engage mula bandha and connect it to my Ujjayi breath, bringing intention, courage and strength back into the pose for another two breaths.
I step back to Samasthithi, then step out with the next breath to Prasaritta Padottanasana. Palms are flat to the floor for 5 breaths in A, I inhale and rise halfway, pausing there for the exhale. I notice the natural Uddiyana Bandha grip that occurs at the end of the exhalation, supporting the lumbar and torso in this half forward bend. Inhaling I rise up, exhaling I return to standing.
Continuing to flow with the breath, I move on to the other three variations: B (hands on hips), C (hands clasped behind the back) and D (holding big toes).
I breathe my body back to Samasthithi and step out for Parsvottanasana.
Here’s another pose that deepens endlessly with time (same as Urdhva Dhanurasana, or all yoga poses really). You can do it for 20 years and uncover hidden treasures every time.
I lift and enliven my inner thighs here – again I engage the two bandhas and the rest of my body falls into alignment. The pose deepens breath by breath, my legs become elongated tree trunks with subterranean roots, my hip joints release their hold on my pelvis, my spine lengthens forward and the tip curls under like a soft leaf softening my neck…I breathe through the intensity of this magnificent stretch.
Parsvottanasana is perfectly placed before Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana because it lengthens the hamstrings and teaches the importance of strong legs in supporting the spine during forward bends. The leg/pelvis/hip arrangement in Parsvottanasana is almost the same as in the forward bending position of UHP A…which I’m now up to.

I take an extra breath in Samasthithi to recover then bend up my right leg for UHP.
My arm reaches outside of my bent leg to grab my big toe – this way is a little harder than reaching inside the leg but it ensures from the start that the femur is facing forward.
Time is ticking away but I decide that the next pose, Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana is essential research for that crazy Lotus in Headstand pose in the Iyengar week 26 sequence I’m playing with in my evening practice. Ardha Baddha reveals my stiff hips today but I still manage to do the full pose on both sides. I’m always tempted to pry open my stiff parts too early, especially in this pose. It’s a habit established in Ashtanga led classes where you only get 5 counted breaths in each pose before moving on.
The hip opening in Ardha Baddha is a bit intense today and I come up quickly on both sides after 5 breaths.
Time’s almost up.
I do a Handstand to the wall and after a few breaths I look up at my feet. It suddenly occurs to me that I’m doing a kind of Jalandhara Bandha so I experiment with turning on the other 2 bandhas to see if I can ignite a fuse. Instead I get a little disorientated from the surge of energy to my head and come down.
Back on the mat for Savasana I slip in a quick Ardha Baddha Padma Padmottanasana, (extra research) before laying down for five minutes. My mind is a bit racy but I do what I can to seek out and relax any tension that has lodged in my muscles. Five minutes is not quite long enough for an intense practice to settle down in my body…


Monday evening
The Week 26-30 sequence blew me away tonight. It took 2 hours.

Before starting the official sequence I prepared with Supta Padmasana which could have sufficed as a whole practice given the intensity of this pose. From seated Padmasana, I slowly laid backwards onto the floor, but my Lotus legs travelled with me until I came to rest with my knees facing the ceiling - I felt like an insect trapped and bound up in a web. It took a few slow, agonising minutes for my hips to release the femur bones and for my Lotus legs to descend to the floor - my hips and lumbar spine were all bound up together. I just laid there, determined to stay with the process of breathing and releasing my body’s tight grip. It was going to be a full practice.

I spent 7 minutes in the Headstand sequence and came very close to getting my second leg into Lotus while up there. This sequence has a lot of Padmasana poses and the repetition is helping to re-open my hip joints – Padmasana in Sirsasana may come sooner than I expected.
In Eka Pada in Sirsasana my feet are about 8-10 inches away from the floor on both sides. Any closer than this and I tip forward out of the Headstand. This pose requires simultaneously opposing actions: energising the upright leg while progressively extending and releasing the lower leg out of the hip joint. It reminds me of trying to pat my head and rub my tummy at the same time…
The entire Shoulderstand sequence took 17 minutes tonight. In the first Shoulderstand, there’s no time to hang out and enjoy the inversion… I limit myself to 15 breaths here (knowing the marathon ahead) so I have to quickly find a perfectly upright spinal alignment before moving into the free-balancing variations that follow. During the Niralambas all my body weight is held up by the neck and shoulder area and although the pressure build up eases a little when moving into Halasana, the next group of poses from Halasana through to Parsva Halasana force a lengthy and extreme Jalandhara Bandha to be held.
The final inverted pose, Urdhva Padmasana in Sarvangasana was strong – I’m enjoying the intense stretch through the front hips and groins in this knees-up version.

When I finally come down from the never ending Shoulderstand sequence, relief is instant bliss.
After the marathon inversions, Jatara was weaker than usual. The first Navasana (arms extended forward, feet just above eye level) is an easy one for me but the second one (hands clasped behind the head and legs much lower) is a challenge to hold in correct position for 5 breaths.

Janu Sirsasana brought about a turning point tonight.
Something shifted.
My Ujjayi breath became quiet and deep as I slipped down that strangely familiar tunnel into deep inner space. Each pose that followed opened up into a fathomless eternity where everything was magnified.
I could clearly feel a tight band of scar tissue stretching horizontally across my lumbar like a bandaid holding my spine in place. It was higher than I’d imagined, over L2 I think. I tend to think of my lumbar problem as located much lower (though x-rays show that the facet joints between L4/L5 have eroded).
Scar tissue is very different from muscle tissue and once it has formed it won’t allow much stretch, but in Janu Sirsasana the release across my back was global and I felt this tight scar band give way ever so slightly. I breathed into my back body expanding it into a balloon full of air and light. My vast open mindstate was opening up my body. I was working way past the edge of my physical limitations without any intention to do so.

The following forward bends were equally regenerative. Ardha Baddha, Tiriang, Marichy A… for the first time in 2 years my nose touched my legs in Paschimottanasana and I managed a hand/wrist bind in Marichy A – not that these little achievements matter – they were simply showing the influence that my mindstate was having on my body.

After the forward bends, it was on to the Padmasana poses, then the Virasana poses, then the 2 twists and Baddha Konasana. After these poses, Ado Mukha Svanasana (Downward Dog Pose) was a peaceful place to breathe and recover, its neutrality brought me back to equilibrium and rest…but not for long…I had to slide up into the first backbend: Urdhva Mukha Svanasana. It took me 5 breaths before my body would curve up at all which meant I had to spend another 5 breaths working fullness into the pose…intense. Part of my body’s protective mechanism is the loss of elasticity around the lumbar and hips. I guess this is necessary armour to prevent further damage occurring from sudden movements.

After the work in Upward Dog I lowered into Chaturanga but couldn’t hold it beyond 2 breaths. I collapsed to the floor then simply moved on…Salabhasana, Dhanurasana and Ustrasana, the three amigos! I did Ustrasana twice.
The action of standing up for Utkatasana after all the floor work still felt out of place but the pose itself felt nice – perhaps there is some intelligence to placing it here – grounding through my feet and legs and reaching upwards reconnected me between the earth and the sky.
Uttanasana…
Garudasana to end this sequence makes even less sense than Utkatasana did. I did it on both sides without losing my balance but my foot didn’t quite hook around fully on the second side. By this time I didn’t care, I didn’t correct, I didn’t repeat. It was good enough.
Savasana…aaah
I scraped myself up off the mat at 8.30pm.









Wednesday 22 September

Wednesday morning
20 minutes this morning (5 minutes short of being a minimal yoga practice).
5 Surya Namaskar A
3 Surya Namaskar B
Padangusthasana (I skipped Pada Hastasana due to time)
Trikonasana – got a nice toe hold on the second side, maybe the first one in over a year…
Parivritta Trikonasana
Parsvakonasana – came up out of the pose slowly, deliberately and unsupported
Parivritta Parsvakonasana
Prasaritta Padottanasana A
Handstand to the wall
Baddha Konasana

I’m not sure where the impulse came from to do Baddha Konasana at the end. It’s been a difficult pose since the onset of my back problems - morning stiffness makes it an inaccessible pose on some days. But on a whim I returned to the mat after the handstand, sat down and pulled my feet in. My lower back wanted to curl to allow for more femur rotation in my hip joints so it was a challenge just to stay lifted upright without collapsing. I lengthened up through my spine and tilted the top of my pelvis forward a little, rolled the pubic bone down and held all this while externally rotating my thigh bones.
Looking down I was surprised at how far my abdomen was twisted to the right. To correct this I had to slide my navel about two inches to the left and elongate the left side of my body.
I had noted and been working on this scoliosis in Shoulderstand and Halasana where my body’s twist can’t be ignored…my off-centre navel stares right back at me when I’m gazing directly up at my abdomen. Funny I’d never noticed this quirk in Baddha Konasana before. I think the recent return to seriously regular yoga practice is starting to show up all the damaged areas that were blocked out.
Now I’ll be watching for this twist in all my poses from now on and trying to correct it from the inside out.


Wednesday evening
I did the week 26-30 sequence again and it turned out to be a similar practice to Monday evening, perhaps a few degrees lower on the intensity scale. I deliberately kept it at a gentle simmer.

I started at 6.45pm and spent 15 minutes easing open my front hips in the Supta Padmasana preparation pose (it could just as easily be called flat Matsyasana or a Dead Fish Pose).
The official practice started with my first Headstand at 7pm and it ended at 8.30pm; a 15 minute Savasana followed. 2 hours total.

An early surprise tonight was getting my legs into Padmasana in Sirsasana on the second side. Slightly puzzling because the first side (left leg on top) is the only side we do in Ashtanga. This has always been controversial as it seems to defy yoga’s emphasis on equalising both sides of the body’s energetic system. For years I only did Padmasana with the left leg on top so I can slide into this side much easier than the opposite ‘strange’ side. Which brings me again to the question of why, when standing on my head, I can’t do Padmasana on my easy side (left leg on top) but I can suddenly do it on the second ‘strange’ side….
So far in this sequence I haven’t attempted Pindasana in Sirsasana as I haven’t been able to do Padmasana in Sirsasana. Now I have to fess up and add Pindasana to the practice.
Another small (Padmasana) detail I noticed tonight…Tolasana - when seated in Padmasana on the ‘strange’ second side (right leg on top) my right knee is much higher off the ground than my left. But as soon as I press my hands down and lift off, both knees become an even distance from the ground.

For my own record I’m going to list the poses in the Week 26 sequence that are either still inaccessible or still need some work:
Eka Pada Sirsasana – I can do this pose quite well but lowering my feet further than 10 inches from the floor compromises the integrity of the pose.
Urdhva Padmasana in Sirsasana – is coming…on the strange side….
Pindasana in Sirsasana – still an unfamiliar pose until I get more confident with Urdhva Padmasana
Karna Pidasana – two years ago I could easily get my knees to the floor in this pose; six months ago I couldn’t even bend them in to touch my forehead because of my lumbar. Tonight my knees got as far as my temples. Minimal but discernible progress.
Pidasana in Sarvangasana – another pose I used to do easily, clasping my arms and hands tightly in around my Lotus legs. I’m optimistic that the fully bound clasp will come back in time. For now I’m happy that my back is allowing me to even hold my knees in for a little squeeze.
Marichyasana A – this week I finally got to clasp my wrist again. The fully wrapped arm and clasped wrist are essential help to squeeze and circulate the prana within a tightly contained area. Forward bending is still difficult, but on a good day I can get halfway.
Lolasana – impossible (for now). The day I lift off will be a day of miracles.
Marichyasana C – binding seems far away – the loss of articulation in my vertebrae when the knee is bent up prevents full rotation so I just hook my elbow around my bent knee and enjoy a mild squeezy twist.
Ardha Matsyendrasana – ditto Marichy C.
Baddha Konasana – I have almost no forward bending capability when my femurs are externally rotated in the hip joints but on another level I plummet to enormous depths by sitting upright with my head tilted forward, engaging all three bandhas and Ujjayi breath to the max.

The week 26-30 sequence is the last one in ‘Course 1”. There is much work to do so I’ll stay with it for a while. Taking up the challenge of Iyengar’s course has reinvigorated my practice at a time when my body is just beginning to respond again.
As I learned from years of Ashtanga Primary practice, doing the same asana sequence regularly has enormous benefits and the practice deepens with time. The familiarity may be comforting but the endlessly arising challenges aren’t.
It’s exciting to observe my body and mind changing and opening up again. My yoga practice feels vibrant, primal and imbued with purpose, no matter whether I’m flowing with the Ashtanga sequence or deeply exploring my limits in the Iyengar course, or just laying on my mat in a knotty Dead Fish Pose.

While ‘casually’ looking through Light on Yoga last night I ‘stumbled’ across the next sequence (Week 31-35 in Course 2). I can see a couple of extra Headstand variations, and twists in Pindasana in both Headstand and Shoulderstand. Additional poses: Supta Padangusthasana, some more Padmasana poses – Yoga Mudrasana, Kukkutasana and Garbha Pindasana; Upavista Konasana, Akarna Dhanurasana, and Parsva Dhanurasana. I’m familiar with all of these from my Ashtanga practice except Akarna.
In the sequence after that (week 36 – 40), the standing poses return and Urdhva Dhanurasana makes its first appearance…

I’m not in any hurry to move on to a new sequence until I feel more at ease with the one I’m doing now.